Well said. I think you brought up a lot of good points.

I was part of that culture too and used to get upset about women dressing "immodestly".

I think part of the angst comes from denying yourself a normal amount of sexual exploration in younger years. There's a tension between: "I'm really horny and I want sex. But I can't because God says not to. That sucks, but I trust it will be for the best if I obey, so I'll try. But, I'm still so horny..."

It's effectively being angry about a situation where you're preventing yourself from having the sexual intimacy you deeply crave because you want to do the right thing. You can't really blame God because he's always right, you can't blame your leaders for telling you it's that way because you think they're being truthful... so instead you get mad at the women who remind you of this basic human need you're denying yourself, because it seems like the only acceptable outlet for your frustration, and maybe if women's bodies just stopped ever being visible you'd finally be able to forget about your dissatisfaction.

Then if you marry someone as a young virgin and the sexual compatibility is not mind-blowing like they promised, and instead it is stressful and confusing and painful, now you feel like you're not only missing out on sexual exploration but you're also trapped in a situation where you don't have the option to seek someone more compatible. Which can all add to the sense of despair.

It's totally misplaced to blame any of this on women because it's obviously Christian programming doing the harm.