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How Death Metal Helps Me Resolve Pain and Anger
Embodying darkness and letting it go
Despite all the good things in my life, there are times when sorrow resonates deeply.
It’s an awareness that life is short and uncertain. It’s the longing for love and the grieving of loss. It’s the bitterness of the suffering caused by unjust paradigms; hostility toward the brainwashing that afflicts our culture. It’s the regret that we’re still barreling toward ecological disaster.
I learned long ago that these depressions are inevitable. I could deny these thoughts and cover them up, but the truth is that the world can be an unpleasant place, and I want to accept and integrate everything that’s real.
Different coping mechanisms work for different people. My best tools are the ones that help me accept hard feelings rather than replace them.
Death metal is an outlet I found when I was 15 and recovering from open-heart surgery. I felt isolated, overwhelmed by my mortality, and didn’t know anyone who could relate to these feelings.
Metal became a way to equalize the pressure inside my head with my external environment. The monstrous roars, glaring guitars, and the calculated onslaught of drums were heaven and hell at the same time.
